Best F'n Friends
by brenli
Summary: [[Chronicles of the Fallen x Coming of the Seraph Crossover AU]] Misfit girls fit together ever tighter when the light and the dark threaten to swallow them whole.
1. The Meeting of Wayward Highschool Girls

_Foreword: The following is a Chronicles of the Fallen/Coming of the Seraph crossover AU piece. I feel like out of the many AUs, this one is the most straightforward, which is oddly relieving. I don't think I need to explain much. This is a simple juxtaposition of Miharu, OC of HaloRecoil's Coming of the Seraph series, and Nemaelle, OC of my heartfic Chronicles of the Fallen. Placing them and their storylines parallel to each other. It is also one of the earlier swings at AU work for me, and has its roots as something cowritten, so it will be credited accordingly!_

 _Also, the title is actually meant to be uncensored, but as much as I flirt with the posting restrictions of this site, I feel like posting this with the uncensored title is a little too bold._

* * *

 **Best F'n Friends  
** _The Meeting of Wayard Highschool Girls  
_ By: Brenli and HaloRecoil

Miharu stretched as she threw open the door that led to the school roof; the hot autumn sun felt divine against her skin, and she pulled the black pack of cigarettes out of her blazer's coat pocket. Patting her other pockets for the yellow lighter hidden somewhere on her person, she shrieked as she moved around the noisy air conditioners towards the open and significantly quieter part of the large school. She'd been expecting to be alone; roof access was strictly prohibited and most of the other delinquents used the dumpsters out back to hide their bad habits, but sitting against the fenced-in ledge was the strange white-haired underclassmen she'd seen once or twice.

"You scared the shit out of me!" Miharu put a hand on her chest. "Didn't think anyone else knew the code to open that lock."

Nema's vivid red eyes went wide as she stared at the girl sauntering closer. Dark hair, dark eyes; exactly like the girls who constantly gave her a hard time for her appearance. But the charming smile on her face gave Nema some peace of mind. "Four zeros isn't exactly a password." Nema shot back, trying her hand at normal socializing. Miharu laughed, pretty and honest, picking out a cigarette and thrusting the pack into Nema's hands. "No thanks. My mom will smell that on me from a mile away." Nema handed the pack back, knowing how her mother felt about smoking.

"One of those huh?" Miharu snickered, blowing smoke into the early afternoon air. "My name's Miharu. Fujiwara Miharu."

"Ah... Nema. Mudou Nema." A shift in the summer breeze sent bitter smoke in her direction, and Nema waved her snow-white hand, wafting the smell away.

"People say you're a weirdo." The dark-haired girl said flatly, seating herself beside Nema.

The albino girl frowned, wondering what had made her think that this girl would be different from the other needlessly cruel teenagers in the school.

"I think you're pretty cute." Miharu winked, laughing as pink color rose up on Nema's cheeks. 16 years and no one but her parents had ever called her cute. 10 minutes later a teacher found them, and they spent detention texting each other, quietly giggling as they shared gossip about the girls in their homerooms.


	2. Parental Confrontation

**Best F'n Friends  
** _Parental Confrontation  
_ By: Brenli and HaloRecoil

Nema stood beside her dropped book bag, chewing on the bite of the apple she'd taken as she frowned at her parents. She was very familiar with their poses. Setsuna leaning against the kitchen counter, fingers drumming against it. Sara practically wringing the life out of a duster.

Yeah. They were pissed.

"It's Friday, guys... I mean... it's not like I have school tomorrow or anything..."

"It has nothing to do with what day of the week it is."

Nema threw her pale hands in the air. "Miha-chan is _nice!_ She's my _friend!_ "

Her mother's brown eyes went wide. This wasn't good. Now Nema had even nicknamed her... "If she's your friend, then why is she always landing you in detention? You've had detention twice a week for the past month and a half...!"

"She gets detention, too!" Nema knew that argument came across as weak. To Nema, it meant everything, though. Too many times had she found herself in detention because of classmates picking on her and promptly pinning everything on her. Too many times had she been relegated to hallway cleanup for choosing to defend herself. It meant everything to have a partner in crime, as it were. To spend detention _with._ To clean the halls and blackboards _with._

Setsuna called her out on her fragile retort. "She shouldn't be getting you in detention at _all,_ Nemaelle."

"Sweetie," Sara tried to reason with her, though her hands were still wringing the duster. "We're just concerned. We know making friends has been a little tough-"

"A little _tough?_ Oh my God, Mom, I'm 16 and I've never had a _single_ friend! And _don't_ talk about Jinho!" Her voice raised over her mother's opening mouth. "He moved away when I was like, what, _six?_ And I've never heard from him since!"

"But this... Miharu girl. She stopped by once reeking of cigarettes!"

Yeah... that had sucked. But what was Miharu supposed to do? Drown in perfume? "So? She doesn't make me smoke them!" Nema angrily bit into her apple again. "An' besides, Katou smokes!"

"Katou hardly ever visits, Nema. And if anything, he's a good example! Think of all the times we've had to find out he's back in rehab!"

"Well he's not in rehab for _cigarettes, Mom!_ "

"Don't you yell at me like that!" Sara frowned, moody and irritable. "Miharu is too young to be smoking, and she keeps getting you in detention, and look at how mouthy you've become!"

"I've _always_ been this mouthy! I get it from _you_." Okay. That was uncommonly mean for Nema...

It showed in the way Sara was visibly taken aback, mouth falling open. "... Setsuna, talk to your daughter."

Both women turned and stared at him, similar unhappy frowns on their faces. His fingers momentarily stopped drumming on the counter. "Nema..." He sighed. "Look, I've been there."

"Pretty sure you haven't, Dad."

"I know what it's like to be a teen and feel like you don't fit in-"

"Oh my God, Dad, I _literally_ don't fit in, okay?"

Setsuna merely spoke right over her, his frown growing. " _And_ I was a delinquent with delinquent friends. I've been there. Nema, it's not a good place to be!"

"We're not _delinquents!_ " Nema couldn't help but feel like that was at least half a lie, but she said it, anyway.

"I know her type, Nema! She'll lead you down a troubled path!"

"What troubled path?" Nema yelled. She inadvertently squeezed the apple so hard that juice began to run down her ivory hand. "A path of detention and cleaning blackboards! I am _totally_ throwing my life away!"

"That's not what I mean, and you know it!" Setsuna bellowed back, stranding straight. "It won't be long until she's sneaking you into seedy clubs with bad men!"

Yeah, about those seedy clubs... "It's my _life,_ Dad! And I want a friend, and Miha-chan is _my friend!_ She doesn't make me do _anything_ I don't want to do!"

Setsuna didn't like the way his daughter worded that. At all. "Well you're _not_ going out with her tonight, Nema!"

" _Why?_ Because you don't _like_ her?"

"Because the only reason you're spending time with her is because you want to be liked, Nema...!"

" _I like being liked!_ I like having a friend!" Nema's pale cheeks had gone red in all her anger, and the apple slipped from her grasp, landing on her book bag. She couldn't find it in herself to care. "You know why I like Miha-chan? She treats me like a _person!_ " She stomped out of the kitchen, screaming as she hurried to her bedroom, "It's pretty stupid that you don't understand that!"

She heard her parents calling for her, but she slammed her bedroom door, quickly locking it. That was the end of that... they'd leave her alone to stew over it for the night and wait to talk about this again tomorrow.

And that was all the time she needed.

After taking a couple of deep breaths, she looked down at her cell phone and immediately began texting.

'Miha! Parents said no. Sneaking out my window. Meet me at the corner...! ^.^'


	3. Petticoats and Necklaces

**Best F'n Friends  
** _Petticoats and Necklaces  
_ By: Brenli and HaloRecoil

'Be there in 5! -Nema'

Miharu smiled as she read the text message.

'I'll be waiting 3 -Miha-chan'

She'd never tell Nema how silly she felt in petticoats and rocking horse shoes, but she'd been talked into accompanying the albino girl on her Sunday Harajuku parades. Plus, Nema had handmade the miniature top hat situated firmly on her head, and Miharu had completely adored it. She popped her headphones back in and began flipping through her playlist for just the right song. 15 minutes went by before Miharu heard her name at the other end of the station. Nema was waving and smiling, running as fast as she could in her petticoats.

"Miha...!" The soft layers of crinoline and tulle bounced lightly around Nema as her little white fingers curled into her wine-red skirt, and she half-ran, half-skipped to Miharu. "The hat looks _so good_ with your outfit!" She grinned and lightly tapped the little top hat. Her Sunday parades were definitely much more fun when she had someone to share them with. "I'm not too late or anything, am I? Jerks on the trains don't know how to let a girl off." She momentarily scoffed, her lips pursed into a pout. Which reminded her... "Oh, you got any lip gloss I can borrow?" Her favored tube of shimmery, strawberry-flavored pink had run out the day before, and she hadn't had the time to buy more... but she figured Miharu had something she could use for today. Good friends share, after all, right?

"I have this..." Miharu held up the tube of bright, femme-fatale red lip gloss. Nema took it as Miharu held up the mirror of her compact, letting the girl dab just enough color on her perfectly white lips to turn them a suitable cherry red.

"Good?" Nema smacked her lips.

"Perfect!" Miharu winked, tucking her possessions back into the small, red heart-shaped purse Nema had surprised her with, along with the top hat.

"Hey, we still going shopping after?" Nema's red eyes lit up as her best friend nodded.

"Of course. We could hit up some of the shops here and then head to some department stores." Miharu hooked her arm in Nema's, and the girls paraded proudly into the park.

As per usual on their 'Lolita Sundays' – oh, it felt good to refer to those Sundays as days to share – they had lunch in the park. Nema liked to go the whole nine yards with it – wicker basket and red gingham blanket and all. "We'll sit..." The words drew out long and slow from Nema's cherry lips as she scanned the area... and chose the middle of a well-tended field of grass.

"No shade?" Miharu arched a quizzical, dark brow at her pale friend.

"Yeah, maybe someone will take our picture!" Nema grinned over the idea. Flipping through the lolita mags, straight to the street snaps section, and finding the both of them? It wouldn't have been the first time her odd, too-pale self landed in those pages, but it would have been the first time she was in there with a friend.

"You're gonna get some ridiculous sunburn, girl..." Miharu warned with a laugh, but helped Nema lay out the blanket, anyway.

"No way, I like, never get sunburn."

"... Never?"

"I know, weird, right?" Nema grinned.

Miharu snorted as she slipped down onto the blanket, dropping her bag in her lap. "There's something wrong about that...!" But she laughed all over again as she pulled out her black pack of cigarettes, her yellow lighter.

Her dark eyes blinked and shifted over just in time to see Nema holding up her little white cell phone, pushing a button. "Ha-!" Nema bounced in her spot on the blanket as she flipped open the big wicker basket. "I've always wanted to do that!"

"Take pictures of me?"

" _Candids!_ " Nema showed her the picture she'd taken. "Smoking lolita. People love that kind of irony!"

Miharu grinned, posing for a second and finally a third before demanding lunch.

"Eh, Nema, this is a lot of food!" Dark eyes widened as her albino friend kept picking things out of the basket, laying the spread between them.

"Hmmm..." A perfectly white hand held out an inconspicuous muffin. "My mom made these. And she told me to give you this one in particular. She _might_ have poisoned it." Nema laughed nervously; she'd stopped putting things past her mother a long time ago.

"Oh! Speaking of things your parents don't approve of!" Miharu was of course referring to herself, and by extension the friendship that had blossomed in the wake of their chance meeting. The albino lolita wrinkled her nose at the memory of the argument she'd had with them. "These are real gold, Nema-chan." Miharu flicked the spent cigarette into the grass as she pulled out a small white box from her purse. "Don't lose it!" She'd been holding on to the box for a few days now, wanting to surprise Nema on a Sunday. Because as much as she enjoyed going out and partying, Nema always loved their Sundays together most. Miharu decided that she could be quite the romantic if she wanted to be... She handed over the box and waited for her best friend's reaction.

Nema blinked wide ruby eyes; her snowy lashes briefly fluttered. She couldn't help herself. "Are you proposing to me, Miha-chan? I'll have to think about it-" Her voice paused as she opened the little box and saw the pair of necklaces sitting on perfect display. A golden heart cut into perfectly jagged halves, each half on a fine, golden chain. Heat touched Nema's face, and she knew it wasn't the sun. She knew that the pinkness on her face would burn brightly. "Friendship necklaces...!" Her red lips curled into a surprised smile. She hunched over the little box, using her own shadow to read the inscription, and she let out a loud and wonderful peal of laughter again. "'Best Fuckin' Friends'!" Where did Miharu even _get_ these? Were they custom made? This _had_ to be a custom inscription...!

The small white box snapped shut as Nema's red eyes met Miharu's dark ones. Best friends... Funny, she never thought she'd have a friend at _all_. But she found one, in the most unlikely way, in the most unlikely girl. A girl so different from her, but everything Nema needed in a friend.

Before she knew it, she was hugging Miharu hard, paying no heed to whether or not their poofy, cupcake skirts were getting wrinkled.

After a beat of time, Miharu's laugh tumbled out into the air. "Keep this up and photographers'll think we're putting on a show!"

Another blush touched Nema's face, and she released Miharu only to open the box and begin pulling out the necklaces. "We're wearing these. Now...!"


	4. Not Recording Porn for Miha

**Best F'n Friends  
** _Not Recording Porn for Miha  
_ By: Brenli and HaloRecoil

'So I guess our school burned down today?'

Nema had been staring at that text for _hours._ How was she to respond to that? Angry red eyes shifted up to look at the back of Michael's head. The red-haired jerk had thankfully grown quiet enough, using a whetstone on the enormous sword he wielded like it was nothing. He seemed to be trying _really hard_ to ignore her... She couldn't have possibly ignored him, if she tried. How could she? This tattooed asshole who'd run her down in the street had somehow found his way _into her house,_ sleeping _in her room,_ and her parents didn't _care._

She couldn't even get Miharu over for sleepovers and this asshole gets to sleep in her room just _because?_

How was this fair at _all?_

And she wasn't even going to get into the whole, getting attacked by cloaked men, and Michael setting her school on fire, and how _apparently_ that was a dream. She wasn't even going to bother trying to scratch into that mess.

Too many damn coincidences... but she supposed it made sense that it was a dream. Like a jerk like Michael would _ever_ have soft white Angel's wings...? Yeah fucking right.

Well, her homework was done – even with Michael _insisting_ that the homework was pointless now that her school was charred and done for – and she had nothing more to do but sit on her bed and try to ignore Michael and the way he tried to ignore her. She had attempted to sew, to work on a little embroidery on the cuff of a long-sleeved dress, but Michael had complained and complained about the fabric flowing over on 'his side.' Because _oh_ , apparently he had a side of the room now; good to know.

So she'd given up on that and taken to staring at the text Miharu had sent her hours ago. She _still_ had no idea what she was going to say...

'… Yeah, that's what I hear.'

Miharu must have been equally bored. Her reply was instantaneous. 'You seen the news on it? Shit's crazy! Looks like bombs to me!'

All Nema could think of was a red-haired psychopath with pretty white wings. 'Yeah, probably.'

'Hey girl, are you okay?'

Leave it to Miharu to know instantly that Nema was out of sorts. She knew she couldn't lie. Nema had always been a shitty liar... 'Stuff is pretty fucked right now.'

'Okay?'

'Like, the school is seriously the least of my problems right now.'

Fifteen minutes passed. Michael was still grinding away on the sword... how _sharp_ did the stupid thing need to be?

'… Okay?'

Nema wanted the smash her phone against her skull. 'So there's this guy and he's a serious asshole Miha-chan. Like you cannot imagine how much of a dick this guy is. He's horrible. And I GUESS he's living with me. My parents are totally cool with it. They are fucking endorsing this crap and I don't even know why. He's sleeping by my BED. Seriously. My Mom laid out blankets and pillows BY MY BED and was just all 'Here you go~' LIKE NO MOM ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? Like how am I supposed to sleep when there's this super mean asshole I don't even like sleeping beside me? I AM SO BUGGED OUT MIHA-CHAN OH MY GOD.' She hit the 'send' key and realized she was holding her breath. She released it in a ragged sigh, and by chance, met Michael's annoyed green eyes. "... _What?_ What do you _want?"_

" _I don't want anything!_ You're the one having fucking breathing problems over there!"

"I'm not having breathing problems!"

"You're fucking _gasping_ for no reason?"

"I'm _gasping_ because I know you're gonna saw my stupid _head_ off with that sword you keep sharpening!"

Michael's face was nearly as red as his hair. " _I should!_ It would fucking take care of everything!"

" _Do it, then!"_ She screeched at him.

But then he just turned back around and picked up his whetstone... Nema considered throwing her phone at him, but it vibrated.

'Is he hot?'

Nema couldn't process those three simple words very well. '… I just told you that my parents are LETTING A STRANGER sleep beside my bed every night, and THAT'S your take away?'

'Hey girl, your parents don't let ME sleep beside you, so this guy must be okay?'

'HA HA HA OH OKAY.'

'Come on, how bad can he be?'

'HORRIBLE! Miha-chan I have never screamed at someone SO MUCH for SO LONG ever! He just BREATHES and it PISSES ME OFF!'

'Sounds like UST to me~'

Nema knew Miharu was trying to make her feel better, but... 'No, Miha-chan. NO. The biggest NO to ever NO.'

'So he's ugly, then. That's a shame.'

'NO!' Nema regretted sending that.

'So he's hot, then?'

'NO NO NO!'

'Take his picture I wanna see this guy.'

Nema blinked at her phone and snuck a peek at the back of Michael's head. 'Miha-chan I legitimately believe that he would gut me if I asked him.'

'Well how am I supposed to believe you if you don't show me proof?'

"Oh my fucking God..." Nema grumbled.

"Would you s _top. Saying that?"_

She hadn't even _spoken_ all that loudly, ugh! "Oh my God oh my God oh my _God!"_

Green eyes clashed against her red ones, but she didn't back down. She didn't exactly have much to lose... Nema sighed and looked back down at her phone, leaving Michael to turn back around and keep sharpening his blade, or to prepare to murder her. Either would have been plausible, she was sure. 'Did you really just basically say 'pics or it didn't happen'?'

'Basically~!'

Great. Well Nema wasn't going to ask him to pose or something ridiculous like that... she _knew_ she'd get slaughtered, then. She quietly pulled up the camera app on her phone and snapped a quick picture. The back of his fiery head. His shoulders and the upper half of his bare back. _Good enough._ She sent it to her only friend with a caption below, 'This is the best you're gonna get I think I just barely escaped death by his hand. Again.'

'Is he Irish?'

What the fuck was Miharu _smoking?_ 'Miha-chan why the fuck do you think he's Irish?'

'He's ginger!'

'It's a good thing you're not here Miha-chan. He would have killed you like an hour ago.'

'Call him Fire Crotch and let me know what happens!'

'DEATH IS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!'

Ten minutes passed. Nema assumed that Miharu must have been laughing the entire time. 'I like his back though!'

'Miha-chan I really don't care about his back.'

'LOOK at those shoulders though, mmm! Can you like get him to do push ups and take a video I wanna see those muscles in motion!'

'I AM NOT RECORDING PORN FOR YOU MIHA-CHAN OH MY GOD.'

'Aw please?'

'NO!'

'Can you at least get a picture of his face, then?'

Nema had to shut her eyes and take a deep breath. 'You are trying to get me killed.'

'What are you so worked up about? Is he a butter face?'

'No matter how I answer that I know I'm fucked.'

'If he's not a butter face I don't see what the problem with that would be~'

'Miha-chan you don't understand. He has a seriously ENORMOUS SWORD.' Annnnnd Nema regretted sending that.

Suddenly a number of texts from Miharu came flooding her phone.

'LMAO NEMA-CHAN'

'THAT'S THE GREATEST'

'OH I'LL BET HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST SWORD'

'I'M SO JELLY GIRL YOU'RE ALL LIVING WITH A PORN STAR HUH?'

Nema attempted cutting into the chatter. 'Pics or it didn't happen hurr hurr?'

'BASICALLY!'

Nema refused to text Miharu for nearly a half an hour, looking through emails on her phone, instead.

'I got one more can I send one more?'

A scowl crossed Nema's lips. 'Get it out of your system.'

'SOMEBODY CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, THERE'S A FIRE... IN HIS PANTS.'

Before Nema could stop herself, she was bowing over her phone, curling around it as she sat on her bed, giggles erupting from her mouth. Tears blurring her vision.

"Nema, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Nema looked up at him, in his annoyed eyes, and just... she fell right over, laughing. She couldn't look at him anymore; she just _couldn't...!_

"Nema, seriously, what the _fuck?"_

She tried to wave him away, finally managing to send Miharu a reply. 'I CAN'T BREATHE'

"Nema, your fucking face is turning _purple!"_

"I...!" She was gasping for air. "I can't...!"

"... Jesus Christ are you _choking?"_

" _No!"_ God, the last thing she needed was him trying to perform the Heimlich maneuver on her. "I'm _fine!"_

Michael rolled his eyes as he turned back around. "I'm looking after a fucking mental patient..."

It took a few minutes of deep breathing for Nema to get her bearings and check her phone, to read the message Miharu had left her.

'Girl come on I want a picture of his face. That way if this asshole murders you I can send it to cops or something?'

It was a joke, but that was actually a pretty smart idea. 'He's not gonna hold still for a picture Miha-chan.'

'Take him by surprise! It'll be fun!'

It'll be deadly, more like... But Nema decided to be brave, shifting on her bed, preparing the camera on her phone. "... Michael?"

She waited.

He kept sharpening his sword.

 _... Seriously?_ What had this guy done to even _deserve_ his favored honorific? "... Michael- _samaaaaaaa?"_

" _What?"_ The Fire Angel was momentarily blinded by the flash of her phone. "Did you just-?"

Nema sent it off hurriedly, taking no time to add a caption, and just barely managed to push the 'send' key before Michael had pounced on her, trying to grab her phone. _"Get off! Get the fuck off, Michael!"_

"Why the _fuck_ did you take my picture?" Michael seemed oddly mortified about it, reaching for her phone. "Give me your fucking phone, Nema!"

" _No! Get off!"_

" _Give me your phone!"_

" _No!"_ She struggled against his body, attempted to kick him off. He ended up sinking between her legs, and alarms immediately went off in her head. _"Get off get off get off!"_

Michael was oblivious. _"Phone! Now!"_

Nema could feel her breathing get shallow and fast and panicky. Nope. She was done with this. She knew this was a bad idea. She was done. _"Here!"_ She threw it at him, but it only ricocheted off the base of his throat and landed on her chest. She held her breath when he snatched it, and then she laid there. Breathing. Trying to calm down.

"... Are you _fucking serious?"_ Michael seethed, tossing her phone back to her as he settled back down on the floor beside her bed. "You have some stupid fucking friends, Nema!"

Nema took a few more breaths before reaching for her phone and checking Miharu's reply.

'… GINGER IS PRETTY HOT! Girl if you don't want him, I'll take him!'


End file.
